|
|
 
|
 May 9, 2001 Wednesday Ah man! Why did it have to go do that?! What a damned mess. Here I am, out camping, with no shower, no pond, only an ass freezing fucking river to use to clean up in! I knew I shouldn’t have worn it. Shit. I knew I shouldn’t have even brought it. Now there’s muther-fuckin hair gel all over the goddamn place! It’s all over the wetsuit and it’s all over me! And there is not a goddamn way to be subtle about what the problem is. Not when you have at least half a bottle of hair gel in your damned crotch! Shit! Youch! That water is fucking cold! Shit. I gotta try... Ok... here goes: Oh Shit! Jesus-Christ-On-A-MutherFucking-Crutch! That’s fucking COLD! Ok there is no way I am going to be able to get enough of me into that water to get clean if I can’t even get my toes damp without them going numb! Y’know they just didn’t cover this in trans 101. They teach you how to make the damned things but they never tell you what to do when one of them pops on you, leaving you with a crotch full of hair gel while out camping in the woods with no way to get clean. Ah hell. Now the damned stuff is getting hard. Christ. With my luck it’ll seal my ass shut and I won’t be able to take a shit until we hit civilization again... IN THREE DAYS! ::45 minutes later:: Now why didn’t I think of this before? Oh that’s right. The idea of grabbing the pot we cook in to heat water from the river so that I could wash the remainders of my stuffer out of my crotch was not a conversation/explanation I felt like giving. Oh well. I guess having to squat over a pot of water in the middle of the camp to wash hair gel out of my pubic hair was worth it. It’s wonderful to be clean and dry and not have my crotch feel like it’s about to become permanently glued together. I’ll have to have them add that to the trans 101 stuffer lesson. Never wear your stuffer while wearing a wet suit during a white water rafting trip in nearly frozen water. Your dick will literally fall apart. |
